I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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