Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
