I just pynch a tree in the face
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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