Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
