I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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