You can't motorboat a personality
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
