My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
