i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
