First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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