Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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