I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
