the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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