Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
