Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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