That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize