how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
