those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
