smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
