We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
