Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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