Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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