What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
