ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
