Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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