so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
