Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
