i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
