It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
