haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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