Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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