so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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