I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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