I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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