I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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