this boner is exhausting
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Come back. Shots need mouths.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize