Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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