We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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