Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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