Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
