I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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