His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
