shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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