where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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