thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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