What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
