Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry