Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You are the jesus of drinking
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.