Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"

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(202): based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat" http://tfl.nu/tv5w

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(802): View more from Vermont

i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.

(802): View more from Vermont

...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.

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(802): i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager. (802): ...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon. http://tfl.nu/jfhq

Replies (28) Good night (543) Bad night (1936)
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(661): View more from California

if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.

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(661): if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies. http://tfl.nu/xdyr

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(716): View more from New York

u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.

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(716): u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you. http://tfl.nu/wk7e

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(804): View more from Virginia

Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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(804): Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009. http://tfl.nu/yk6t

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(914): View more from New York

I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.

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(914): I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever. http://tfl.nu/u669

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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(704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919

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(678): View more from Georgia

He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.

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(678): He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me. http://tfl.nu/j7uh

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce

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(401): I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce http://tfl.nu/vjco

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(516): View more from New York

The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.

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(516): The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me. http://tfl.nu/o6eb

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He's cheating on her.

(973): View more from New Jersey

Are you sure it wasn't her?

(201): View more from New Jersey

I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.

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(201): He's cheating on her. (973): Are you sure it wasn't her? (201): I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her. http://tfl.nu/sbt9

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(217): View more from Illinois

I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.

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(217): I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well. http://tfl.nu/junb

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(303): View more from Colorado

When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever

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(303): When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever http://tfl.nu/l7j2

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(831): View more from California

Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE

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(831): Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE http://tfl.nu/2zmk

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(734): View more from Michigan

If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.

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(734): If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date. http://tfl.nu/hoqh

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