Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Drake has all the answers
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.