Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
