I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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