I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
