i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
