my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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