Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
