there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
People with herpes should wear stickers.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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