I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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