Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i dont even know how to be here
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
why is half of my head shaved?
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