lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
