he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
