Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
and you fell through a lawn chair
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
