Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just gargled with NyQuil
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
