Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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